When I was 19 years old I joined the US Navy and went through eight weeks of basic training. During that time I was broken and rebuilt as a person, into a member of a larger team. Some old habits were erased and I learned different, more efficient methods to perform tasks and respond to events.
Learning to deal with problems
My military training taught me to open my eyes much wider than what my less-than-perfect childhood had brought me. For myself, basic training was an opportunity to fill my toolbox with lessons to be applied when the right (or wrong) situation presented itself. Whether it was jumping from a sinking ship, putting out a fire, surviving a chemical attack or rescuing an injured shipmate, the things I learned still serve me well today. I learned to think for the team and how to survive any situation (real or virtual).
As a parent I struggle with what to teach my children and what to let them endure on their own. If the Navy had not taught me how to fight a fire properly, when one broke out in the galley, I may have panicked instead of grabbing the proper gear and helping to put it out. Then again, the lessons learned often sink in the deepest and stay the longest.
Do I let my kids deal with heartache or warn them of some upcoming problem before it occurs? Do we shield them from so much that they think the reality of the world looks much different than what it is? How equipped are our children in dealing with conflict if they never see it at home? How trusting will our children be in their personal relationships if the only picture is that of their parents? Is it healthy or unhealthy to fight about and resolve issues openly versus in private?
While teaching our children it is necessary to establish boundaries within social normalcy. To our children these boundaries come in the form of rules and restrictions. These are not always popular but they are often necessary in order to keep our children on the right path. It is a balance between being their friend and being their parent.
At some point in their life we hope that all the wisdom we have imparted is enough to get them through every day. The lessons they learned and how they apply them will be a testimony to our parenting, but we need to take that testimony with a grain of salt. Not everything they encounter in their lives could have been foreseen. Many encountered events, no matter how much planning, can be random.
Eventually life dictates that we step back, cut the binds and pray for the best. The greatest gifts I hope my kids have learned from me involve hope, faith and love. Do you hope for the same?
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